I have taken a liking to studying God’s word recently. As I have been introduced over the past two weeks to the expository and exegetical study of the Bible, my knowledge of who God is and what His plan looks like is unfolding with every breath of scripture.

This, however, raises some concern. The teaching and preaching of the Bible over the past few years has been narrowly watered down and spoon fed to congregations with a strong lack of conviction from the Spirit and worse yet there is a lack of expository preaching from the pulpit (whether that is a true pulpit or a stage or soapbox). I see two groups affected by this dilemma. 1) There is the postmodern gang who feels that all things are relative; truth, morality and naturally, scripture. The Bible to them has become just another piece of literature that is mediocre at best which is at looked only to criticize and denounce as unimportant. I have even heard the statement that the words of Christ hold the only importance in the Bible, everything else is too questionable. I feel that once their mind is made up, the idea of expository preaching no longer (if it ever) appeals to them. They would rather look to the writings of Thomas Merton or Augustine for any sort of truth but dare not acknowledge that these authors searched for Biblical truth, not relative truth. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good solid reading of ancient writing, but this ought never take the place of the old and new testament canons. 2) I think that perhaps this class may be more dangerous than the previous. I have been seeing a growing popularity for topical sermons that speak to the 35-60 age range. Now, I do know that there are plenty of resources and places of worship around that put a great emphasis on the exegesis of scripture. Yet, there are still churches that demand that their congregation is in need of topical sermons only. The problem with this is that when the topic decided the direction of any sermon, scripture is ruled out and the personal opinions regarding tithing/divorce/homosexuality/abortion etc. rise to the surface and suppress any evidence of the Spirit. The outcome is a mediocre discipleship that is bent on making a political statement rather than living a life that is, as Paul says in Philippians, worthy of the Gospel.

Does this resonate with anyone else? Let’s hear some comments.

Not that many people read this, but if you do, I apologize for such a long delay between posts.

Some updates for all of you…

1) I was let go from my job.

2) I am looking for a new one.

3) School owns

4) Also… check this out

Topic One:

I love making students into disciples through encouragement, support and community. I think it’s a rush being on a stage and letting the Holy Spirit speak through me. It is a fascinating phenomenon, however, when the thing you love to do most is not appreciated anymore. For a long time I found myself trying to be appreciated by the powers that be rather than basking in the sweet love of Christ. My heart was set on performance. The past three weeks have been the best three weeks of ministry I have had in quite some time probably because I no longer have a group that desires so much from a part time youth worker. I now have the freedom to work with students that desire to be leaders within a youth group. We have a solid group of 30 students that show their faces weekly. It could be the fact that they get free food, or it could be that they really desire to know who Jesus is.

Topic two:

I need a new job, bad. Their are some stipulations though. I have to love it. It doesn’t have to pay well. I have to have the opportunity to partner with the Holy Spirit to change lives for Christ. What I am saying is that I don’t want a job. I want, nay, need an opportunity that can last a lifetime; an opportunity that takes me to extraordinary heights only by experiencing unheard of lows; and opportunity that gives me the chance to seek, find and then seek something more. I think I’ve found it. I’ll let you know.

Topic Three:

I have been spending all day (that is, the time outside of writing this) studying Matthew 4:18-22 for the class I am in at Vanguard. A year ago I was worried about finishing math homework that i didn’t understand. I am now studying a God that nobody understands, and loving everything about it. I spent an hour on a Greek word study and never had so much fun through so much frustration. I am spending my time comparing books of God’s Word while He shares how much He loves me whilst I do so. In the words of a dear former student, “Thank you Jesus!”

My God, how great you are. Thank you for loving me the way you do. Give me the courage to let go of what I consider gain in this life and take hold of what you consider gain in eternity.

o yes, topic four

meat in loaf

“I can’t believe I have to do laundry on my birthday.”  -Jim Gaffigan-

It’s my birthday today.  I have been alive for exactly 24 years.  I am very impressed with myself, as I should be.

I was commenting to my family last night at dinner that birthdays are so unique.  We take the time to celebrate not just the fact that someone has lived another year, but we celebrate also the idea that they simply exist.  “Thank you for being alive, existing and being a part of my life,” seems to be the general consensus from people at a birthday party, they just don’t verbalize it.

Father, make this year interesting.  Make it unlike any other year in my life.  Give me storms and give me peace.  Help me to live a life that affects all those around me so that they might know you more.  Encounter me as I am, at 24 years old. Let me love as you love me.  Let me encourage as you encourage me.  Let me have patience as you have patience with me.

I did a little bit of an exercise before I went to bed tonight this morning. I made a list of characteristics that I see in myself now that are not so wonderful, such as prideful and impatient.  I then made a list of things that I aspire to see in myself (encourager and efficient).  I wish I could say that the good list outweighed the bad list.

When I first began to make this list, the things that I am and desire to be were quite obvious.  Things previously mentioned like pride, impatience, encourager and efficient were among the top of both lists.  However, as I sat and really began to think about who I am spiritually and emotionally, the truth began to rise to the surface.  As I acknowledged the things on the “bad” list, it became apparent that these simple things were suspended by a much more intricate support system.

As I looked at the words “pessimistic”, “arrogant”, “lazy” and “angry” (among plenty of others… believe me), there were four words that rose to the surface in their place.

False. Tired. Lonely. Outside.

Within 40 seconds I was forced to recognize a very real truth.  The pressure to outperform, outdo, out-think, and out-smart causes this inner desire to please not only those around me, but also myself and my God.  The consistent hankering by others to “do the job right, good, perfect, and impeccable” has morphed into this terrifying gospel of never being good enough and when the desire is not met, the human reaction slowly turns into God’s reaction and thus, I turn the living and breathing God into a micro-manager, acknowledging all my mistakes, making sure that I know very well what I have done wrong.

Brennan Manning calls it, “the false self.”  It is the person that has taken the place of “me” and puts on the facade that everything is under control.  Through this process, I dare put everyone around me down in order to make sure that I feel as though I have control.  I raise my voice, lose my temper and throw emotional punches in order to make sure that my own heart stays afloat.  The ones around me no longer feel encouraged, supported or loved.  Rather, they feel put down, beaten and bedraggled because I needed to “feel good about myself.”

The gospel of Jesus turns that though around, shakes it up and shoves it in our pipe, begging us to smoke it.  “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” Jesus says, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  This should be the keystone to living a life sold out to Christ.  Yet, I have found myself in this odd twilight zone episdoe in which ministry is tiring and draining and no longer do I have the desire to talk about Jesus, the savior of my life, as I once did at a previous time.

It is only when we feel the eyes of Jesus penetrate our deepest pains of loneliness or self destruction that we then see the need to live a life of being true to who we really are. We take these tiny steps of spiritual discipline into a world of humility, peace and reconciliation.  We look back on who we once were; baggy eyes, dirty finger nails and torn hearts; and see that all we had to do was let go of inhibitions and let the God of consistent and everlasting love take over.

Oh, that we could all take those steps into a divine experience with our Father and respond in a way that changes the world around us.

Abba, thank you for seeing me for who I really am even when I don’t even know who I am supposed to be. Feed me encouragement so that I may encourage others.  Give me patience, strength and perseverance when the easy thing to do is to yell and give up.  Give me humility.  Lord of all, give me direction in my life as I try to see what is next.  Thank you for loving me. Amen and amen.

What is the sin that all Christians are ultimately afraid of?

More often than not, the sin is the abortion of a baby is the sin that most people within the Church think will ruin a life. It may be homosexuality or some other sexual desire. It may be greed, envy or even gluttony.

Though all these are presumed to be sins, in which some cases they are very much so, I feel the problem lies much deeper. It lies deeper than any pro choice sticker on a car. It resides lower than any sexual desire. The sin that too many people is the sin of complacency.

For too long, those within the church have been complacent with their present state of being and for too long they have been ignoring the call that God has placed on their hearts.

“Forget your old ways and remember mine!” the great God says. “My joy will be your strength!” His commandments or even desires for us will not be our strength. No. Our strength lies in the Joy of our Lord. A complacent mind dries the well and turns hearts into stone. The desire to stay where you are at in life and in your relationship distances you and quenches. the fire that so strongly desires to burn for the Living God.

Abba, I have lived a life of complacency for too long. I have been alright with where I am at. Challenge me in this world and in my relationship with you. Give the heart that desires you and you alone, and not the knowledge of this world. Amen and amen.

Henri Nouwen has always been, in my mind, one of the better writers regarding the spiritual mysticism in Christianity.  I have a book of his that I try to read daily, and more often than not I fail at that task.

Today I read something wonderful.  Henri discusses what he feels his mission here on earth his.

“I think of it as a mission into time, a mission that is very exhilarating and even exciting, mostly because the One who sent me on the mission is waiting for me to come home and tell the story of what I have learned.”

Seldom do I acknowledge what I am learning in life.  I would say that during any given month, I set a few days aside to really reflect on what I have learned regarding life lessons.  As I read this excerpt from Nouwen, I thought about what life would be like if we began everyday expecting to learn something new from the Lord of all and finished the day by not only reflecting on what we have learned but thanking our Father in heaven for revealing His truth to us.

Abba, help me to realize that I don’t know everything.  Help me realize that I am on a mission that is also the experience of a lifetime.  Let me experience and trust in you and your word today. Amen and amen.

I got a haircut the other day. I vowed a long while ago that I personally would never pay for my own haircut.  Since my head looked homeless, my mother decided to pay for it.

We were eating at the Chipotle off El Toro.  I made the rash decision to get the haircut at Sportclips.  Let me tell you about my time there.

The frequent customer at Sportclips is one who:

1) love sports, fine smelling shampoos and overrated back massages

2) thinks women are good only for haircuts and shampooing hair

3) love sports, fine smelling shampoos and overrated back massages

In other words: a stereotypical man.

I usually get a haircut a the Haircutters and occasionally my garage, so the idea that I was in a new place scared me.  Don’t let Sportclips fool you… everything everywhere is sports.

Because it was my first time there, they offered to “upgrade” me from just a normal haircut, to the MVP.  So, instead of paying 30 dollars for the MVP, I only had to pay 24 dollars. The MVP included not just a haircut, but a massaging shampoo “treatment” (I will use the word ‘treatment’ very loosely) and a back  “massage” (same reason).

My hairdresser had a very stripper-esque name.  Alina, or Alinia… or Sparkles.  She brought me to the last chair in the room and Amanda followed.  (I think if Amanda had not been there, I would the situation would have been even more uncomfortable.)  I was asked what type of haircut I wanted.  I told her.  She began cutting… very slowly.

10 minutes later, she asked me if the length of my hair was ok, as she held up the little patch of hair from head she had been working on all that time.

30 minutes later, she finally finished cutting.

She asked me to walk back to get a massaging shampoo.  I wanted to say no, but I figured I wasn’t paying for it, so it wouldn’t hurt.  Usually when I get my hair shampooed, it is very quick and comfortable.  This new and improved shampoo took twice as long, and the seat I sat in was so awkward.

She put shampoo on my head and began shampooing.  I’ll give her this: She tried really hard to massage my scalp.  But I could not get past the fact that she was terrible at it.  She asked often, “is this good” and “is the pressure alright?”  I was expecting her to begin a lapdance while holding clippers and some scissors.

To top it all off, she put a warm towel on my face for a few minutes and left the room. I was expecting them to take a polaroid of me as a joke, because there is no way that anyone can take this seriously.  And last but not least was my back massage.  I sat back down in my haircutting chair, and she took out a cheap looking massage tool.  I laughed.

“Is the pressure good?”

I couldn’t believe that people actually go in to Sportclips for the “special treatment.”  As for me, I’m going to stick with free haircuts in my garage.

I think it’s time to start working out again.  I saw myself on a security television the other day and saw my stomach.  Bad news bears.  To the right, you will see how my parents used to help me exercise.

If you think this one is funny, check out how to use your baby

I’m working on some homework right now.  I have to write about the rich young ruler.  Be excited because I’m going to post what I wrote.  It will be long, but it will be worth it.  (If any of you said “that’s what she said” you should be ashamed of yourself.)

Hello to you.  If you have been waiting for me to write something (which is highly unlikely) I apologize for keeping you in such suspense.  I’ve been busy planning for Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights over at Lake Chills.  I have experienced a lot in the past week, so let’s get started…

This past week, Debbie was gone in Texas visiting her daughter.  Aaron was out because of elbow surgery.  Tim went back to Fresno.  Needless to say, the week was fairly boring in the office.

Last Tuesday night, I took a trip to L.A. to see a few bands.  Copeland, Lovedrug, Lydia and Lights.  Copeland=awesome.  Lovedrug=unique, but enjoyable.  Lydia=the singer whines to much and the band seemed to care more about their appearance than their music.  All of their sets were the same.  Not my taste I guess.  Lights=there was a reason she was the first to play:)

Wednesday night was a blast.  I’m thinking about setting up a blog just for rooted student ministries for students to check in to see what’s coming up.  Maybe this is a good idea, but only if students check it.

Thursday, I worked on the bulletin.  I put the scream as the bulletin cover.  I thought it was funny.  That night my lovely lady friend, Amanda, and I went out for a date to an Italian place on Balboa Island for our date night.  It could be some of the best Italian food I’ve had in quite some time.  Pas.tu Cafe is the name.  Go check it out.

Listening to a lot of Radiohead and Sufjan Stevens this past week. Delicious.

On Saturday was White Trash Weekend.  I had about 17 people over, all dressed like white trash.  Such a good turnout, I think I’ll have one for our students at lake hills.  Brilliant.

A last bit of info before I get into the heavy stuff.  I turned my parents onto the comedian Jim Gaffigan.  My dad loves his hot pocket bit.

————————————————————————————

Youth ministry has been fun recently.  It’s nice to finally have some true support that is more than just encouragement, but a push from behind to tell me to keep going… or else I may be fired.  Just kidding.  Believe me, the pay would not be missed.

Our population in student ministries is not doing so hot, but ministry and relationships are flourishing.  I don’t want to be the one that says it’s alright to have a small group (though there are definitely exceptions).  Population growth insinuates Kingdom growth.  If a church population is dwindling, then the Church (capital C) is not doing it’s job.  I look forward to planning events (bowling, ultimate frisbee, flash-back dances, winter camp, etc.)in the future to encourage our students to bring their friends.  I look forward to seeing how God moves more in Rooted Student Ministries in a mighty way.

I read something by Henri Nouwen today.  If you have never read anything by him, I suggest you do so immediately.  I have two of his books, one of which is just a reading for every morning and his book, “Return of the Prodigal.”  I gave the latter to a window cleaner who is obsessed with Bible codes (DaVinci Code and the likes).  Today, it was about loving our enemies.  The socio/economy of Jesus Christ is totally upside-down.  (Perhaps that’s why he was crucified.  That, and the healing of all man’s sins.)  Who in their right mind would pray for the one that hates them.  I have found myself dealing with the difficulty of loving a certain individual recently.  Because of a few unfortunate circumstances in the past, I have looked down on this person and made them feel unwanted and unloved.  As I was reading over the idea of praying for one’s enemies, it occurred to me that I need not pray for this enemy and their downfalls, but acknowledging that I am no more or less worthy than they to be loved by Christ.  I am the enemy, and yet this individual prays for me.  It’s a frightening thing, this love that Jesus desires for us.

Lord, help me understand better the love you have for me so I can better understand how to love.  Remove my arrogance and replace it with humility.  Obliterate my sense of neediness and desire to be wanted by others, and fill it with the secure sense of being that I need you alone and am desired by you alone.  Help me to not just pray for my enemies, but be aware that I may be the enemy who is being prayed for.  Amen, and come Lord Jesus.

I hope to post again soon, maybe even today.  Look forward to that.

my beard is back.  I think I fully became aware of it when I was in Mexico on Saturday.  I’ll get back to this as soon as I finish telling you what happened on Saturday.

I believe I left off at the Costco in Mexico.  I guess it makes sense.  People need four gallons of mayonnaise in any country, Mexico is no different.

Overall, it was a wonderful day.  We spent the entire day building a very small house.  There were about 10 of us, maybe 11 or 12.  For the first half of the day, we nailed ply-wood onto 2×4’s, pausing for water every so often.  It was suprisingly cool throughout the day.  Never once did someone complain about the heat.  We had a cool breeze coming through the valley we were working in.  God is good.

Ernesto, Chewy and Armando were the three gentlemen we worked with.  Super guys.  Work ethic like I have never seen.  Chewy was 38 years old with 7 kids… I have friend with 4 kids and have had enough, this guy had 7.  Super sperm.  Ernesto works for Spectrum Ministries (a ministry that builds houses and baths and feeds families throughout the Tijuana area) and the other two just help out.

That got me thinking.  I have a feeling that, in the future, more and more ministerial positions are going to be part time rather than full time.  In Acts, we see the word ‘martyia’ meaning literally, “to bear witness.”  Though the apostles were ministers, they worked in regular jobs, letting their actions speak louder than words.  In no way am I saying that full time, paid ministerial positions are bad.  I just have a feeling that sooner or later, those positions will no longer be around.  I consider this a good thing.

Long story short, we met the woman whose house we were building.  She had one child already born, and another one on the way.  I did not see a husband, so this means that either a) he is dead or b) he just isn’t around or c) he just wasn’t around at that time.  She seemed nice enough, so I guess she deserves the house:)

———————-beard————————

I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have facial hair.  I was talking with a new found friend of mine, Tim, about growing facial hair.  Don’t tell him, but I’m envious of his dark, Russian facial hair.  A little while ago, I made the mistake of shaving everything off but some giant chops and a disgusting mustache.  As you can see from the picture above, my upper lip hair is not exactly exciting or appealing.

I found a great website for beards at www.beards.org and I suggest you check it out.  Maybe you’ll see me on there someday.

For a while there, I felt like Sampson without his long, delicious locks of hair.  I based my persona around my luscious beard.  But no need to fret.  It’s back, and is coming back with a frenzy.  Beard Frenzy.  I don’t plan on cutting or trimming it for quite some time.

Be prepared.

I encourage all of you who can grow a beard to do so as soon as you can.  Quit your job if they won’t allow it.  Leave your families if they hate it.  Get a divorce if your spouse can’t stand it.   It’s the new way of life.